Elaina Redick, the 4-year-old daughter of Dr. Kimberly Redick, a Rincon dentist, and David Redick, died Sunday. The Richmond Hill child’s daycare/preschool at the Savannah Christian Preparatory School closed Monday and today.

Elaina fell ill with nausea early on Saturday morning. She was taken to Memorial University Medical Center on Saturday and passed away early Sunday afternoon. Doctors have not yet determined the cause.

Local health officials also are hesitant to say H1N1 was the cause.

Here’s the link to the letter about this heartbreaking case on the Savannah Christian Preparatory School Web site.

Does this unspeakable loss make you more concerned about the H1N1 threat, even though this is not a confirmed case of the swine flu? Does it make you want to take advantage of the availability of the H1N1 flu mist vaccine at the Chatham County Health Department?

Novel H1N1 flu has claimed the lives of 86 children in the U.S. since the outbreak began in April, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About two-thirds of those deaths have been in children with underlying medical conditions such as muscular dystrophy or cerebral palsy. A typical flu season sees about 50-100 pediatric deaths.

What are you doing to keep your young children healthy during this frightening time? Here’s the link to the CDC page on H1N1 and the seasonal flu.

See readers’ responses on our SouthernMamas Facebook page here.

The new book “NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children” is getting a lot of attention for challenging the conventional wisdom about child rearing. I’ve caught snippets of co-author Po Bronson on NPR, Campbell Brown and Babble.com.

It sounds like a jolting compilation of scientific research about children and child rearing over the past 10 years. 
Topics include how babies develop language, whether intelligence tests in kindergarten are accurate predictors of future academic success, why siblings fight, why sending kids to ethnically diverse schools is not enough to ensure that kids will form friendships across racial lines and why modern, involved parents are not producing nicer children.

Perhaps the most important is the impact of sleep deprivation on kids (getting less than eight hours of sleep doubled the rate of clinical depression in high school students nationally) and the effects of letting children stay up even 15 minutes past bedtime.

Read more here.

Cookie, the upscale parenting magazine, will cease publication.

The over-the-top magazine – that was known for pushing toys and diaper bags that cost more than your child’s college education – is on the Conde Nast Publications chopping block along with Gourmet magazine, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride.

But as Babble points out, Cookie wasn’t just about pricey kids’ stuff. The magazine also had worthwhile essays, interesting dinner ideas and quality children’s book selections.

In one of my favorite books, Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird,” Lamott tells a story about her then preschooler son Sam’s cursing. One day Sam pretended to lock himself out of the house, and then proceeded to try to unlock the door with his toy keys.

When he couldn’t fit the keys in the lock, she heard him say, “Sh-t.”

She made the silent Munch painting scream and then told Sam that both of them absolutely had to stop using that word right away.

He said, “OK,” but then asked, “Mom, do you want to know why I said ‘sh-t’? It was because of those f-ing keys.”

I know how Lamott feels. In my newspaper column today, I write about what happens when my toddler starts mimicking Mommy’s verbal indiscretions. Read the column here.

Thanks to all the SouthernMamas readers who shared their cursing kids stories!!

When the ultimate SouthernMama Paula Deen appeared on “The View” on ABC Tuesday, host Barbara Walters questioned her about pushing fattening food for children. Deen was on the show to plug her book, “Paula Deen’s Cookbook for the Lunchbox Set.”

“This is a cookbook for kids. Obesity is the No. 1 problem for kids today. Everything you have here is enormously fattening,” said Walters as she sat by the famous chef. “You tell kids to have cheesecake for breakfast. You tell them to have chocolate cake and meatloaf for lunch. And french fries. Doesn’t it bother you that you’re adding to this?”

All things in moderation, counseled Deen. “No, I’m not saying they should eat like this every day,” she said.
Walters said Deen’s book is hardly a lesson in moderation. “Not when you’re giving them this!”

Sounds rough. But if you actually watch the clip, Barbara’s comments don’t sound nearly as scolding. Still, some are making a big deal out it and saying Walters accused Deen of contributing to childhood obesity.

Perhaps Barbara was just using the childhood obesity questions as a way to pick on our homecooking queen for another reason: the report that Paula Deen shot the pilot for an in-the-works syndicated talk show that will have a format similar to the “The View,” but with a focus on parenting and motherhood. Paula is supposed to be in the matriarch role on the show, similar to Barbara’s role.

What do y’all think?
Was Barbara right to ask some tough childhood obesity-related questions?
Or did Barbara appear a little bit hungry and perhaps a tad jealous about the possibility of having Paula Deen as a daytime talk-show host rival?

My Sunday newspaper column this week is about Michelle Duggar’s 19th baby and big families over all.

Click here to read the column entitled “What’s wrong with just being a mom?” and share your take.

Bumpaholic is the new term for women who seemed addicted to pregnancy.

The term was coined in a recent Women’s Health article, claiming that a large number of women want lots of kids for all  the wrong reasons.

“Having babies isn’t addictive in the way that alcohol and narcotics can be,” reads the Women’s Health article. “But bumpaholics feel compelled to procreate for many of the same reasons that substance abusers turn to booze or drugs.”

In this article, experts speculate about the reason women have more than a couple of babies. Attention. That hormone-induced high. Belly-rubs from strangers. (really, people like those?) To be waited on. To avoid returning to work or having to figure out what to do with our lives next.

Read the article here.

Women’s Health argues that “celebs photographed cuddling one adorable infant after the next, plus infamous moms who steal the spotlight when they give birth to higher order multiples, are stoking the flames of pregnancy lust in some women.”  Think Octomom. Michelle Duggar.

But what about much more mainstream moms with multiple kids? Do we really need to question their motives?

As Megan Francis, Michigan mother of 5, writes on Babble: Why do we question the motives surrounding the decision to have children (or not) with so much more cynicism than we do other decisions? If someone volunteers for a nonprofit or has a large circle of friends, no armchair psychologist would bother to question whether she was trying to “fill a void” with meaningful activity or companionship. It would instead be accepted that creating relationships with other human beings is a normal, natural and human desire.

What about the idea that a large family can be intentionally and intelligently chosen? When did it become weird to like children, to want them . . . even more than two?”

Would love to read what SouthernMamas readers think about Bumpaholics. Please comment below!

Elmo is trying to help families navigate some tough times.

Producers of “Sesame Street” are producing a prime-time special to help parents and young children deal with economic hardship. The special will be aimed at families with children aged 2 to 8. It will air on PBS stations on Sept. 9.

Elmo is joined by Al Roker and Deborah Roberts on the special.

It’s directed at both parents and kids in families where someone is dealing with a job loss or the income is much less than it was.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded to appreciate how fortunate we are to have healthy children.

Which is why you should check out my newspaper column this week about a Savannah baby who needs a new heart to survive.

Amy and Brad Stewart have to miss out on so many joys of first-time parenthood as they try to help their 7-month old son while he waits for a donated heart. But the worst part is having to see their son, Cabell, sick, hooked up to tubes and confined to a hospital.

Read Cabell’s story here and follow his progress on by going to CarePages.com where Cabell’s site is IHeartCab.

Savvy SouthernMamas profiles are back.  Know a savvy mama you want to nominate? Email anne@southernmamas.com. Read past SouthernMamas rock! profiles here.

Meet Elizabeth St. Lawrence, stay-at-home mother of three who became a cloth-diaper enthusiast with the birth of her third daughter, Brianna (pictured here)

Your family:
Husband: Matthew. Three daughters: Alexandra (5), Samantha (4), and Brianna (6 months)

Liz, we understand you use cloth diapers. Are you nuts? Why did you decide to try cloth diapers this time around? And please tell us there’s no toilet dunking involved?

Honestly, I didn’t realize people still cloth diapered when I had my first two daughters! I think with the whole “green” movement the last few years combined with the economy, cloth diapers are making a great comeback. A few weeks before Brianna was born, I was giving into one of my guilty pleasures, Facebook, and one of my friends from high school mentioned cloth diapering on her status. I had to comment and bombard her with questions, and soon I was spending all of my free time researching cloth diapers!
There are a lot of valid reasons for cloth diapering; I will explain the reasons that “won” me over.

Read Liz’s reasons for cloth diapering, the entire interview with Liz and get help if you’re interested in cloth diapering (and even cloth wipes) by clicking here.

Add this to your list of health concerns: The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is having second thoughts about letting kids play on ground-up tires at playgrounds, according to this Associated Press article.

EPA scientists are worried they don’t have enough information about potential health risks from chemicals in the rubber. Here’s a quote from the article: “Communities from New Jersey to Oregon have raised concerns about children touching, swallowing or inhaling lead, metals and chemicals such as benzene, zinc and breathable particles from synthetic fields and play yards.”

Quick: Name the capital of California? How many U.S. senators are there? Where’s your diaper bag?

Can’t answer even one of those? Chances are you’re suffering from momnesia, the mental fuzziness and memory lapses that set in after childbirth and linger for months afterward. If so, or if you know a new mom who is, check out my regular Sunday newspaper column here.

Adrienne Hedger and Shannon Payette Seip, moms and authors of a new book called “Momnesia: A Humorous Guide to Surviving Your Post-Baby Brain,” sum up how our brains change post-pregnancy.

One page of their book compares what kind of information a new mother retains. She doesn’t know today’s date, but she knows her baby is 44 days, 10 hours old. She can’t name the president of France, but she has the pediatrician’s number memorized.

Moms can submit their funny memory lapses here. In one, a stranger standing in a long line at a bank asks a mom if she’s in the right place because she’s carrying an armful of dry cleaning.

Are you cutting out perks like car washes, hair appointments and Starbucks during this economic crisis?

In my Savannah Morning News column this Sunday, I write about budget steps I and others are taking  – including giving up hoity-toity salons for cheaper, albeit riskier, cosmetology schools and going on a latte fast.  Read the column here.

You said you’d have a will done before the baby arrived.

But now that baby is already in school and you and your man still don’t have a will, a trust or any estate plan at all.

Check out a free, educational seminar offered by local law firm of Smith Barid, LLC on basic estate planning. It will be @ 10 am Thurs., March 12 @ the Law Offices of Smith Barid, LLC (315 Commercial Drive, Suite C-1, Savannah, GA 31406).
Learn more about protecting your families and your assets by calling 912.352.3999 (24/7) or by clicking here, then click on the “Estate Planning Seminars” link.

“Our firm is dedicated to helping people in Savannah and the surrounding areas do what’s necessary to protect and provide for themselves and their families,” said Richard Barid, a founding member of the firm.

For more info about the seminars, call 912.352.3999 or visit the Web site here

Southern Mamas, I need your help. I am writing an article about quitting your job to stay at home with your kids. I’d love your input on how the real life stay-at-home experience differs from how we thought it would be.

What do you think are some of the myths about stay-at-home moms? For example, is nap time really the new happy hour? Do you find yourself envying work-outside-the-home moms? Do you get really ticked off when people ask “So do you do all day long?” And do you have any good replies to that annoying question?

What do you miss most about working outside the home? Do you feel as though your mind is turning mushy by not working outside the home? Do you think you made the correct decision to quit your job to stay home or do you believe there’s some truth to the argument of quality time over quantity of time?

Please email your thoughts and comments to anne@southernmamas.com.

Are you concerned about complications associated with c-sections? This new study here details some of the risks, including breathing and feeding problems and infections.

Many moms who undergo c-sections want vaginal births after a c-section (also known as VBAC), but are denied that option. I write about c-sections vs. VBACs in my Sunday column this week in the Accent section of the Savannah Morning News. Read it here.

Whereas VBACs were briefly popular a few years ago, increasing from 3 percent to 28 percent from 1981 and 1996, now the trend is more toward “once a cesarean, always a cesarean.” More and more doctors have banned VBACs. One of the few local practices that still offers VBACs when appropriate is Provident OB/GYN Associates.

To find out more about the risky rise of c-sections nationally, visit the Georgia chapter of the International Cesarean Awareness Network here.

Interested in sending your child to St. Andrew’s School?

The independent college preparatory school on Wilmington Island has several open house dates for Pre-K 3 through Grade 12 including:
Tues., Jan. 13 at 9 a.m.
Fri. Jan. 16 at 12 noon
Mon., Jan. 26 at 9 a.m.
Wed., Jan. 28 at 12 noon
Thurs., Feb. 5 at 9 a.m.

Call 897.4941 to reserve your spot or for more information. To find out more about the school, click here.

The good news is I still write a Sunday column “Hart to Heart” for the Savannah Morning News Accent section.

The bad news is they are cutting my column back from once a week to every other week. Very depressing and confidence-shattering. But that’s the state of print journalism today – budget cuts and lay offs.

I will continue to use this Web site to promote my columns when they run on the first and third Sunday of each month. Feel free to share story ideas and comments on what you’d like my column to focus on in the future. I get mixed messages on whether readers want more personal stories or more issue-oriented stories. My last two columns have offered a little of each.

Last week, I shared the humorous birth story of our precious new daughter, Francie, who arrived as an early Christmas gift for our family and a 40th birthday gift for me. You can read the column here. (The photo posted above is of Francie looking a little perplexed by her big brother as he tries to explain fingers and hands to her.)

This Sunday’s topic is a bit more controversial: breast feeding in public. I, personally, am often too shy to breast feed in public,  but support mothers who do 100 percent. You can read the column here. It’s about a breast feeding feud prompted by Facebook banning some breast-feeding photos on the basis of being obscene. Do you think breast-feeding photos are obscene? Please share your opinion in the comment section below.

My mom says I’m her sugarplum.
My mom says I’m her lamb.
My mom says I’m completely perfect
Just the way I am.
My mom says I’m a super-special wonderful terrific little guy.
My mom just had another baby.
Why?
-Judith Viorst

I thought we had the whole “how-to-help-older-sibling-adjust-to-new-baby thing” covered. But four days into being a big brother, my 2-year-old is having a rough time. Not with his baby sister, whom he loves to kiss, hug and coo over. But with ME, his once constant companion who now isn’t so constant. Last night, he summed up his feelings by swinging this statement at me several (painful) times “I don’t like Mama.”

So I’m in search of ways to help with the adjustment – starting with finding children’s books. We often read Ezra Jack Keats “Peter’s Chair,” about a boy learning to accept his new baby sister. My son loves it. Here are some others I plan to check out:

“Duck at the Door” by Jackie Urbanovic
What happens when a duck knocks at your door and wants to stay with you all winter? Young readers who bemoan the presence of a new sibling may relate to the other pets in the house, who initially are frustrated by Duck but grow to love him.

“Baby on the Way” by Dr. William Sears, author and baby care expert. Gives older siblings a realistic view of what to expect once baby has arrived and helps them sort through feelings they may be experiencing as they wait. Supposed to be especially helpful for those parents who practice attachment parenting.

“Nobody asked me if I wanted a baby sister” by Martha Alexander. A jealous big brother tries to give away his new baby sister to several people in the neighborhood.

“I used to be the baby” by Robin Ballard. A young boy with a new sibling is always there when his mother needs a helping hand and is happy about having a new brother. Deep down inside, though, he misses being a baby and all the baby perks.

“I’m a big brother” or “I’m a big sister” by Joanna Cole

“She come bringing me that little baby girl” by Eloise Greenfield.

Please comment below if you have other suggestions.

Anyone else relieved to see that Target is finally carrying BPA-free BornFree bottles?

So are other retailers, which is good news to moms concerned about using plastics containing the risky chemical BPA. The FDA says BPA is safe, but other agencies – and tests – say differently. Prompting some to question whether the FDA is biased toward the industry that profits from BPA-laden baby products.

Read my column in today’s Accent section of the Savannah Morning News to find out more. Click here to read it.

You can find more products that are BPA, PVC and phthalates free @ The Soft Landing, a site started by an RN and mother of three. In addition to sippy cups etc., the site also has toothbrushes, teething rings, and bibs — all without risky chemicals.

Babble.com also put together a guide of BPA-free bottles – with photos of the products – so you don’t have to settle for risky bottles. Click here.

UPDATE: Just for Baby & More dropped all of feeding products that were not BPA free. The Savannah store @ 7701 Waters Ave. also carries Born Free bottles; Dr Browns new BPA-free bottles; the Medela bottles, which also is BPA free. Just for Baby & More also has the full line of BPA-free feeding accessories- sippy cup, bowl, snack ball, silverware – from Boone and toddler sippy cup/bottles from iplay.

Does Sarah ‘Barracuda’ Palin make you marvel and wonder “How does the supermom do it all?”

If so, you’re not alone. Be sure to read my column “Pitbull in lipstick’ puts moms to the test” in today’s Savannah Morning News Accent section. Read the column by clicking here.

But a much better article is this one from the New York Times about parents of special-needs children being divided over Palin’s promise to help. Read it by clicking here. The question raised is what Palin, whose youngest son has Down syndrome, would seek to accomplish for disabled children as vice president.

Parents of special-needs children ask whether her promise to help in her nomination speech means she will improve services and financing for special-needs children; get rid of Medicaid wait lists to get kids services; quickly pass the American with Disabilities restoration act?

Would love to hear from any parents of special-needs kids about your take on Palin’s promise that you would “have a friend and advocate in the White House” in a McCain-Palin administration. As the NYT article points out:

“The last time a candidate explicitly appealed to families of the disabled at a national convention, advocates said, was 20 years ago, when the presidential nominee, George H.W. Bush, endorsed the Americans with Disabilities Act — and got a 10 percentage point bump among voters who identified themselves as having disabilities.”

Nothing like a vice-presidential candidate and governor who’s also a mother of five, including a special-needs infant son and a pregnant teen-age daughter, to add fuel to the already heated debate about the appropriate balance between child-rearing and working .

Within two hours of The Washington Post reporting on its Web site the pregnancy of Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter, more than 1,000 people had weighed in, fighting about whether Palin, 44, is placing her own political ambition above the needs of her family.

Social conservatives, usually advocates for stay-at-home motherhood, mostly defend Palin. Others, including working mothers, are concerned she is taking on too much.

What do y’all think?

If you had a 4-month-old infant with Down syndrome, would you take on the job of full-time campaigning across the nation? Would you go back to work as governor of Alaska three days after giving birth?

And if you knew your 17-year-old daughter was pregnant and not-yet-married, would you accept the vice-presidential slot or bypass the chance to make history in order to spare your daughter the embarrassing spotlight?

Or is it unfair to scrutinize Palin about any of these questions, that, after all, no male candidate has to endure?

Would love to know your thoughts on my column today in the Savannah Morning News Accent section. The subject: to spank or not to spank? You can read it here.

The column prompted several emails from anti-spanking advocates, including the folks @ the Center for Effective Discipline, which subscribes to the belief “Spare the child, lose the rod.” They pointed me to a Q&A for parents with experts answering parents’ questions about discipline. Read it by clicking here. Their Web site also offers a theory on the origin of Biblical quote “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” Read it here.

Check out an extremely detailed debate about spanking between parenting expert John Rosemond, pro-spanking, and the Center for Effective Discipline, anti-spanking. Click here to read it.

How’s your child’s day-care?

State inspectors have issued more than 800 citations for violations at 85 licensed day care learning centers in Chatham County since June 2007, according to this article in today’s Savannah Morning News.

The good news is there were also seven local day cares that received NO violations during the same period.

Here are the day cares with serious problems, according to the article:

CHILDCARE NETWORK NO. 20, 12441 WHITE BLUFF ROAD

ANGEL’S CHILDCARE & ENRICHMENT CENTER II, 409 E. 39TH ST.

DUTCHTOWN CHILDREN’S CENTER, 911 DUTCHTOWN ROAD

THE STARTING POINT DAY CARE, 1929 SKIDAWAY ROAD

ELF’S CHILDREN CENTER, 4802 KIM ST.

Centers not cited include the following:

ABC Child Care Center #1, 1106 E. 48th St.

Kicklighter Academy, 7219 Seawright Drive

Sanctuary Child Learning And Development Center, 8912 Whitfield Ave.

The Lady Bamford Early Childhood Education Center, 1410 Richards St.

Wesley Community Centers CC, 1601 Drayton St.

Savannah Morning News also put together a database of state violations issued to Chatham County child care learning centers. To see if your child’s day-care received state violations, click here.